9th Annual Funkytown Dance Party: Hippies vs Rednecks. It’s. About. To go. Down.

There may be no more disconcerting feeling than to watch your wife dress up as a redneck and realize that you’re even more attracted to her.

Erin: it’s been a long time since we’ve done a beer bong.
Me: it’s been a long time since we’ve *said* “beer bong”.

As you watch the redneck version of your wife dance with a woman who is convincingly dressed as the painter Bob Ross, you suddenly know in your bones that joyful frivolity is the answer to a question it never occurred to you to ask.

And they drank not absurd amounts of alcohol, and they saw not the epic debauchery of the after party, and they awoke on the seventh day and their heads pounded not, and they saw that it was good.