Mic check, Mike check,
One, two, five, six,
I got mad skills
Like Mxyzptlk.
Most call me Mike,
A few call me Dad,
Some know me as that
Date that went bad.
I don’t mean no harm,
Don’t spread no rumors,
Just serving up,
Some self-effacing humor.
Maybe some pics,
Sometimes a gripe,
And of course some nerdy,
“Oh my God” kind of hype.
But here’s the thing,
That I came to say,
I’m gonna take a break
For the month of May.
When you don’t see my posts,
Don’t worry your head,
Cuz you ain’t been blocked,
And I ain’t been dead.
So throw your hands up in the air,
And wave them like you’re a werebear,
Cuz the only hope,
Of lycanthropes,
Is there’s a party going on somewhere.
Now reach your hands out to the plate,
And grab the bacon nobody ate,
Your kids got no taste,
If they would waste,
A comestible that tastes this great.
You think that’s a bad verse?
Well from here they only get worse,
Cuz one thing I know,
Once I start my flow,
Sucka MCs need a hearse.
Okay, okay, I gotta stop, because I’m silently rapping to myself in the stands and have now lost whatever mojo I had with the Little League moms. Much love peeps! Hamilton out.
[Drops mic, which lands on foot. Stifles grunt of pain. Walks offstage.]