God must be too distracted trying to register on the Obamacare website. As a result, the following activities are cancelled yet again today: (1) wrestling around on the floor, (2) the escape-from-Dad-while-he’s-pretending-to-be-a-log-rolling-at-us game, (3) any and all competitive dancing with the Xbox Kinect, and (4) the throw-the-human-enchiladas-into-the-air-and-let-them-fall-onto-the-bed game. Also, contrary to localized popular belief, placing a dog, cat, or guinea pig on my face while I sleep does not comfort me. Finally, I’d like to commend you all on your efforts to refrain from stepping on my balls during this difficult time. I’d like you to maintain this practice from now until forever.