I have been washing children’s hair for almost a dozen years, and never once in all that time have I gotten shampoo into anyone’s eyes. Because of this, you’d think I’d have earned a degree of credibility when it comes to the matter, and that bath time would not involve the wailing and gnashing of teeth over the prospect that the long dreaded fear of shampoo in the eyes would finally be realized in an agonizing and perhaps deadly fashion. 

Alas, no.