I’m bringing blogging back,

Them damn tweeters don’t know how to act,

140 characters, now that’s just whack,

My kids say stuff that makes me blow my stack.

(“I put my fart in the fridge”).

 

Daddy babe, you see these four kids

Baby, I’m their slave,

It’s a given that they’ll misbehave,

It’s just that all four make me feel this way.

(I’m gonna need a thesaurus).

 

Come here kids, gonna lose my shit,

A shirt is not pants, gonna lose my shit,

Toilet seat covered in pee, gonna lose my shit,

Spilled your drink on me, gonna lost my shit,

Let me see you do your chores, gonna lose my shit,

Why’s confetti on my floor? Gonna lose my shit,

You make me groan, gonna lose my shit,

Can I please poop alone? Gonna lose my shit,

Get your crazy on, gonna lose my shit (7x)

Get your crazy on.

 

I’m bringing blogging back,

My children don’t know how to act,

Vasectomy made my balls turn black,

But after four I had to get it fast.

(Or I’d jump off a bridge!)

 

Dirty babe, laundry litters their rooms,

Now that’s a shame,

The maids want another raise,

It’s just that no one makes them work this way.

(Trabajan demasiado!)

 

Come here wife, gonna lose our shit,

What’ve we done to our life? Gonna lose our shit,

PTSD, gonna lose our shit,

Caused by our family, gonna lose our shit,

Put date night on the agenda, gonna lose our shit,

They just fed the dog Splenda, gonna lose our shit,

They interrupt our sex, gonna lose our shit,

With fears of T-Rex, gonna lose our shit,

Get your crazy on, gonna lose our shit (7x)

Get your crazy on.

 

I’m bringing blogging back,

Slipping bacon inside pancake stacks,

Drinking gin and writing lack a hack,

Cause I’m creatively restless and that’s a fact.

(Rent this space!)

 

Come here blog, done lost my shit,

Gonna use my real name, done lost my shit,

Write what I see, done lost my shit,

In this house of monkeys, done lost my shit,

Let me see you kids, done lost my shit,

Repeat what you just did, done lost my shit,

You make me smile, done lost my shit,

Go ahead child, done lost my shit,

Ge t your crazy on, done lost my shit (7x)

Get your crazy on.