In an alternate reality, Other Me is peacefully drinking hot tea and spread out on the floor reading The Sunday Times. In this reality, I am drinking lukewarm tea and spread out on the floor *trying* to read The Sunday Times, while one kid practices walking (and intentionally falling) on my back, a second repeatedly wipes his “super snots” on my pants, a third attempts to steal my remaining sock, and a fourth continues to prod me for help with the crossword.