This is my first time in Amarillo, and it is also my first occasion to purchase tire chains that facilitate driving in the snow. This is not, however, my first introduction to the concept of a “speedy checkout” lane. And I think I speak for all of the long suffering residents of this town – a town made dear to me over decades of hearing it mentioned repeatedly in what is perhaps the greatest song by George Strait (or anyone else for that matter) – that this particular checkout lane is in fact the least expeditious such lane in all of Christendom.