Me, this morning: You can’t wear that hat to school.

H___: But it’s western day!

Me: But the hat is red. Men don’t wear red cowboy hats.

H___: (eyes narrowed) How do *you* know?

Me: See, that would have been FUNNY if you had been smiling when you delivered the question. But instead it looks like the joke was an accident.

H___: I don’t think the color of the hat is a big deal.

Me: Listen, take it from a man who walked into Oak Creek Elementary in 1980 wearing an authentic Russian fur hat forced upon him by his mother and a two tone leather jacket with tassels all over it – I can assure you that it’s a big deal.