Three observations from last night:

(1) When paired with a highly competent partner, I can almost do a half-assed version of a salsa dance, in the manner in which it might be performed by The Muppets. 

(2) When my beard is shaved to a stubby goatee, I can almost pretend to be a dude who has any business hanging with people in their twenties. 

(3) When passing out at 2AM and then suddenly remembering that the tooth fairy is supposed to come, I can almost determine the denomination of the bills I’m putting under my kid’s pillow.