“Consarnit girl! Did you let a badger brush this hair? I ain’t seen a tangle like this since the Great Rat’s Nest of Aught Six. There ain’t a wide tooth comb or detangle spray in the lower 48 that’ll tame this Hellcat. Only thing for it is prayer . . . prayer, and half bottle of this here Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Hair and Body Moisturizer. Now you set a spell and get comfortable while I fetch my wine jug, cuz we may be at this ’till sunup.” – – When I have to adopt my “Befuddled Prospector” persona to effectuate the brushing of hair, you know I’m scraping the bottom of my parenting bag of tricks.