It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of new experiences, it was the age where those new experiences would include a concussion received from the tile bathroom floor, it was the epoch of copious free time while on bed rest, it was the epoch of being forbidden to use that free time to read or watch TV or use the computer or play video games or do anything cool, it was the season of requiring your daughter to read the collected essays of Christopher Hitchens aloud to you, it was the season of listening to your daughter complain that reading Divergent would be so much cooler, it was the spring of hope that you might get out of bed without feeling dizzy, it was the winter of despair that your parental duties will resume the moment you heal, we had everything (including takeout fajitas) before us, we had nothing (and not much appetite for takeout fajitas) before us (but yes to the queso – what am I, undead?), we were all going directly to the playroom to watch House of Cards, we were all (and by we, I mean me) going straight to bed because the kids can’t watch that show and you’re not allowed to watch anything anyway – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on it’s being posted on social media despite the fact that such an action was in flagrant contravention of both doctor’s orders and perhaps common sense. Happy new year anyway!