Me, at breakfast: We have *got* to cut back on our spending. Our Amex bill is insane. Seriously, it’s nothing but painful frugality for both of us from here on out.

Me, at lunch: Eat together at home? But I want sushi! . . . [at sushi restaurant] So I’m hatching a plan to go visit my buddies in San Francisco. Oh, and I wanna attend that thing in Chicago that’s coming up . . . Hey, you know what we should do? Buy a loft apartment! No no, hear me out. It’d be partly as an investment, but mostly just so I can have a place to retreat from the kids and the chaos and actually feel like a sane person once in a while.

Me, just now: When did you buy that dress? That’s the kind of spending I’m talking about!