Take 2 drunk dads, add 6 kids, 3 pairs of rollerblades, and a handful of Nerf swords. Serve with leftover pie and homemade caramel popcorn. Bring to rolling boil, then reduce heat and let simmer until at least 2 kids are crying. Shout gibberish about your prowess at Pitfall on the Atari. Wish you had donuts. Hope these bastards brush their teeth before you pass out. Swear randomly. Make your mom a jalapeño and cucumber margarita. Forget why you’re angry. Decide to maintain anger until these bitches recognize. Wonder why you haven’t fixed your primary ice maker, and instead gotta walk into the pantry to get your sh*t cold. What the Hell are you even doing. Oh – someone bought falafel chips. Boom baby.