Pie belly: adverse condition brought on by the over consumption of a holiday meal, followed within a short time frame by the inadvisable addition of a desert, especially pie. Patients suffering from pie belly are prone to moaning, should be unmolested by children, and should never be subjected to conversations with relatives on topics ranging from how Obama has screwed us to how Obama will to continue to screw us more. Napping is the only known treatment for pie belly, because who the Hell wants to watch the Cowboys anyway? Under no circumstances should people with pie belly be asked to play Twister, or Trivial Pursuit, or to interact with anyone at all. If you had planned on having a date night with your spouse before he or she contracted pie belly, prepare to curl up with a good book instead. But not that Shades of Grey BS, because you’re just gonna get all worked up and then disappointed because, hello? Pie belly.