(1) Remove the heads from two spray bottles; (2) Dial nozzles to “stream”; (3) Take them with you to neighborhood pool; (4) Leap into water with one spray head in each hand; (5) Submerge the affixed straws beneath the surface and advance on your sons; (6) Fire salvo after salvo with infinite ammo drawn from the pool itself; (7) Hear random twelve-year-old shout: “That’s legit! He’s got the . . . he’s got the things in the water, and so he – yeah! That beard guy is legit!”
Indeed. Beard guy IS legit.