He shows up at the back door. And you’re like “oh my God, you’re back!”
And he’s like “Of course I’m back, you dipshit. I’m a CAT, not some idiot dog who can’t find his way back out of a paper bag. Why? You didn’t blog about me did you? Oh my God, you did! You are the worst. Did you cry too? I bet you totally cried.”
And you feel dumb of course, but mostly you’re just relieved – more relieved than you’ve been in a long ass time. And your blissfully ignorant daughter never felt the panic you’ve lived with for the past two days. And everything in your life is sweetness and light. And you can’t even think of anything to complain about in jest to close your post. So you have to close with gratitude, which is probably how you should always end the things you write. Because you’ve got so much to be thankful for. And tonight, it’s this damn cat.
