Me: just one more episode of OITNB. 

Also Me: uh, hello? It’s past 1:30AM, moron. Your day starts in less than five hours. 

Me: uh, hello? They make coffee for a reason. Besides, when did we start saying “uh, hello?” – that’s lame any time, but radioactively lame to say to yourself.

Also Me: You’re calling me lame? This from the guy who wore cargo shorts and flip flips to Monday date night?

Me: How was I supposed to know she was gonna wear fancy stuff?

Also Me: um, maybe the fact that she came down the stairs wearing fancy stuff?

Me: Whatever. It was a wine bar – they’re happy if anyone shows up, let alone a rogue in flip flops who is totally outclassed by a hottie in snakeskin wedges. Now are you gonna watch this with me or not?

Also Me: Only if you feign illness in the morning so Erin will drive carpool.

Me: I like the way you think . . .