No no no. This is a Pinot Blanc, which is a wine that loquacious chics drink while they’re having a book club event. I asked you to fetch me a Pinot Noir, which is a wine that dudes with awesome calves drink while they’re mocking book clubs. Now to be honest, I probably would have also accepted any red wine you managed to find, or a random bottle of Scotch, or even a “Dad, there are spiders in the cellar and I’m scared shitless”. But this – this is just piss poor.