Me: B____, it’s frustrating for H____ to play action figures with you because you insist on never losing. There’s got to be some give and take. It makes for a better play experience if you build some dramatic tension by letting some of your guys get hurt. 

B____: Dad, hello? Wolverine has super healing! And his bones are adaman . . . amadan . . . they’re really strong stuff!

Me: okay, but it’s no fair for him to beat Spider-Man and Iron Man and Hulk and Cobra Commander and Zartan and Dart Maul and Boba Fett. 

B____: Boba Fett is a loser! He lost to a hole in the ground. 

Me: Take. That. Back.