You are out in the field walking the dog with your four-year-old when the dog begins gobbling a rat carcass. Do you:

(A) Scream like Jamie Lee Curtis?

(B) Lunge for the dog, but only after handing your latte to your son and making sure he is holding it with both hands?

(C) Grab the nasty rat tail (while wearing gloves – what am I, G. Gordon Liddy?) and pull with all your might while yelling at the dog in your best seargant-from-Full-Metal-Jacket voice?

(D) Extract rat from throat of dog, throw it into southern Oklahoma, and collapse in a full body shiver of revulsion?

(E) Cite this episode as the reason you don’t have to walk the dog for the next week?

(F) Remind everyone that you’re recovering from a concussion and should probably be on the couch instead of fighting dead rats?

(G) Lament that your hair is in that awkward growing-out stage, which isn’t exactly germane, but since you’re complaining anyway, why has nobody cared enough to orchestrate a haircut intervention?

(H) All of the above?