Intellectual.

If other people call you an intellectual, it’s probably a compliment (unless they’re from a pocket of the country where intelligence, curiosity and erudition are for some reason not valued). If you call yourself an intellectual, it’s probably a mistake (unless you’re from a pocket of the country where arrogant asses are for some reason tolerated and encouraged). If you call yourself an oaf-ellectual, it’s probably because you’re me.

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