To the twenty stuck up Corsicana moms who didn’t bring their kids to my niece’s birthday party because she’s a transplant from Houston: you know your town sucks right? I mean, this can’t be news to you. It’s basically five streets surrounding a Wal-Mart. Your fine dining is a Goddamn Cici’s Pizza. What the fuck do you have to be snooty about, and what does any of it have to do with a nine-year-old girl?
To J____: keep being as insanely awesome as you are, and know that I’ve always got your back, but especially when I’m drunk.
To Waco: what, you want a piece of this too? Cause I bring the thunder.
To the lamp I just tripped over: don’t be such a douche. Now I gotta finish this post from the floor like an asshole.
To Erin: situation normal. Nothing of concern here. Return to heroic stuff and whatnot.